This blog is run by Hugo.
This blog is updated Monday through Friday.
I'm a 20something guy in Southern California trying to make the world a better place. For signs of such making, do not ever, under any circumstances, refer to this blog.
No one is more obnoxious than the guy who's never created something but lives a life criticizing other people's art.
Said it once, and I'll say it again: Experience should be a prerequisite to any critic.
This one music snob I know moved to Eagle Rock a couple weeks ago, to "immerse" himself "in a cultural hotspot."
So exotic! Anyway, he's a self-proclaimed rock guru who's never picked up an instrument. And then he has the gall to say that radio artists are no-talent hacks. Prick.
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My cousin, 18, called me the other day.
HUGO: What.
THE COUSIN: I just did a piano audition over the phone with the Marines, for the band!
HUGO: Crazy. What'd you play?
THE COUSIN: Mozart's "Rondo" and some Joplin. But there was a problem.
HUGO: Oh?
THE COUSIN: They want me to play jazzzz. And they told me to have something prepared for a live audition in two weeks.
HUGO: And?
THE COUSIN: Can you teach me jazz in two weeks?
W
T
F
OH, SURE, THE COUSIN -- BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, IT ONLY TOOK ME 5 YEARS TO LEARN HOW TO LISTEN TO IT AND ALL, BUT THAT'S USELESS INFORMATION.
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There's a fine line between "educated" and "snob." Think about it.
Thursday, July 2
>>THIS IS NEWS
I love it when cable news programs do feature reports on internet phenomena. They treat it like exotic safari watching, with the implication that the viewer has never, ever, ever been exposed to applications like Twitter, Digg or Blogger.
"...AND IF YOU LOOK CLOSAH, YOU'LL NOTICE WHAT THESE SELF-PROCLAIMED 'NETIZENS' CALL A 'TWEET.' "
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Hands over fist, this Twitter thing is HUGE. Like, you know when you read retrospective pieces on trends, you think, "Yeah... you know, that pog thing really was a big fucking deal, huh?"
Well, this is the first time I'm actually noticing how huge this Twitter shit is in real-time. You really can't escape it. It's so bizarre to see young and old people leveled on the same cultural playing field.
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The Mom just created a Facebook account.
"Be on my account!" She said.
"Be on my account" -- Cute.
Homegirl is smoking some nasty shit if she thinks I'm going to add her. The last thing I want to see is someone SuperPoke her, or find out that she's joined a virtual mafia. MA. MA. NO. LISTEN TO ME, MA. STICK TO SPIDER SOLITAIRE, MA. ALRIGHT?
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Hey, assholes: Did you notice that Google indented their search results code, pushing listings further to the right?
This is very, very bothersome. I can only equate it to the feeling of seeing my window blinds partially open, 2 blinds up. I internally scream and want it to be completely shut. Or completely open. It's very halfway-to-puking feeling.
Wednesday, July 1
>>THIS SONG IS SO GOOD THAT SERIOUS SONGWRITERS DON'T LIKE TO REMIND THEMSELVES THAT IT EVEN EXISTS BECAUSE IT'S THAT FREAKING GOOD
At rehearsal last night, I told The Tony to turn on the "black" on his bass amp.
Someone seriously has to make a "black" console on amps. Turn that shit way past 11. I'd pay thousands upon thousands upon thousands for a play-it-like-a-black-guy feature. This shit ain't racist. It's straight up tribute. Gotta love the blacks!!!
Tuesday, June 30
>>MY DISCRETION
I used to have a screening system when someone tried to add me on Facebook.
"Do I know this chick? Uh, er, no? DENIED."
But I've since stopped. I just figured, hey, I love snooping in on people's profiles, whether I know them or not. Then I like to judge them within 20 seconds. Then I keep them on basis of their exploit potential. This is networking, 2.0! Suck it, Cisco!
Anyway, there's this one girl--who I guess thinks we're BFFs because we do a lot of PR work together via e-mail--and she LOVES her job. Like, really, really, really loves her job.
So much, in fact, that she updates every development about her clients on her status; whether it's "watch my shitty actor's show on the CW tonight!" or "I'm going to a C-list rapper's release party later!" or "Getting a pedicure with UCSB girlies! WOO!!!", you know she'll be around for as long as the atomic bomb will allow her to.
Today, she posted:
"Who wants to go to ATLANTIC CITY with me this weekend!?"
By this logic she is either:
A. Inviting 795 of her Facebook contacts to her trip to Atlantic City (Looks like somebody needs a bus!)
or
B. Just using this moment to fill the void of self-deprication and esteem in hopes that, for just 4 seconds, someone out there in Internet world could be thinking, "Boy, that Megan girl is a really lucky girl. I sure wish that was me, gee golly."
Because I'm bored at work, and because I'm a complete fucking asshole, I thought, "A. Yep, definitely A."
And I publicly responded--as I'm sure she was dying for someone to--with an answer.
"I'm down. I don't really know you, but I'm so down. BORGATA. SAW IT ON HELL'S KITCHEN."
Was I serious? No, but it shouldn't even matter. I mean, I am on her contact list. I am bound to run into her updates daily. By definition, there should be no arguing as to why I should not have responded or not taken the invite.
She de-friended me.
And Thus Spoke Hugothustra: Self-absorbed cunt, 2.0.
Monday, June 29
>>YOU HAVE
...to have to have to read David Foster's memoir "Hitman."
It's 200 pages of pure pop music insider fluff--Streisand tales, Whitney tales, Groban tales, KOST 103.5 shit, y'know? This stuff is like porn to anyone who, like me, is a conscious pop music fan.
In one chapter, Foster recounts a time in the late '70s where he was having drinks with Ringo and Paul in his home. Foster asked Ringo to call up John and George, since he knew they were in town. Paul sighed, Ringo said, "Sure." The call eventually never happened, but if it did, Foster would have been the person who went down in history as the person who reunited The Beatles for one last time.
W T F
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Summer, 2008:
HUGO: Oh my god. I've rediscovered Michael Jackson. "Off the Wall" and "Thriller" are albums I feel that will sufficiently change the way I write music from here on out. This guy's a mad fucking scientist.
MOST EVERYONE ELSE: Eh.
FAST FORWARD TO THE GREATEST MOMENT IN CULTURAL HYPERBOLE IN ALL DOCUMENTED HISTORY!!!!!!!!! THERE IS ONLY ONE! THERE IS ONLY ONE! THERE IS ONLY ONE! WHY, OF COURSE IT'S STILL RELEVANT!!!!!!!!!! HOW EVER WOULD YOU EVEN BE ASKING OF THIS!!!!!!!