I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.
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Thursday, April 14
I'LL SHOW YOU WHERE TO STICK THIS
I don't like family decals. You know you've seen them at least once. You're at a redlight, and you see an SUV in front of you with a sticker of stick people on its rear window.
The Hunter Family!
Steven, Martha, Chad, Brett, and Britney!
It screams nothing but "My life is at a dead end, so I might as well be proud of something like the children I impregnated my wife with."
The first thing I think of when I see these family decals is, "Man, that family must have really bad domestic issues." Then I think the dad is an alcoholic who drives ATVs, and that the mother is clinically depressed and watches nothing but CBS to fill her emotional void, and that the oldest son has a stash behind his S&M porn, and that the youngest daughter is the notorious whore in her high school.
It's something I don't understand, really. I mean, when I have a family, the last thing I want to do is give the names and stick profiles of my children for all of Los Angeles and Orange County to see. Y'all know the 909 has some shady residents.
With that in mind, I like most decals and bumper stickers. I remember one vividly in my head of a beat up truck with a broken tail light.
'W' STANDS FOR WOMEN
NRA -- AND DAMN PROUD OF IT
PRESERVE AMERICAN JOBS TO AMERICAN FOLKS
MICHAEL MOORE = ANTI-AMERICAN
I swear to you it had more. The truck was just caked with right wing propaganda. I could've sworn it was Tucker Carlson (dick) but, sadly, it wasn't.
Have something on your car? Cool. Well, it better be, 'cos if not, you know I'm just going to make fun of you eventually.
On another note, my entries have lacked something lately. I think it's called "good writing" and "something worthy of a laugh or two." Then again, when have they ever been so? I apologize.
Haha! I just wrote a "have a great weekend" closer -- I thought it was Friday, so I think I'm seriously getting delusional. Or inscrutable. Whatever it is, I'm going to find whoever put the roofies in my Sunny Delite. Happy Thursday!