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I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.

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Tuesday, June 21   >>

I DON'T SECOND THAT EMOTION

My cousin from Ecuador is in town. She's never been to the States before, so as a girl my age, she's very excited. In three days, she's seen a lot. She's got about two more weeks before she's off.

The other day, we went to have a burger in a nearby cafe.

She requested a fork and knife.

Okay, maybe you can't mentally digest that, so here it is again.

My cousin from Ecuador is in town. She's never been to the States before, so as a girl my age, she's very excited. In three days, she's seen a lot. She's got about two more weeks before she's off.

The other day, we went to have a burger in a nearby cafe.

She requested a fork and knife.

The rusty wheels in my head turned for the first time since my last Spelling Bee, and the mice running inside stopped and said, "What th-- Did she just ask for utensils for finger food?"

And I had to reply. "Joey, Mikey, yes, my fair mice, she just requested eating utensils. For finger food."

I had to ask.

"Um, hey, yeah, um, yeah, well, yeah, um, Jenny? WTF?"

"Mom told me to never use my hands for food."

"So?"

"So I use a fork and knife to eat. Everything."

For being new to the English language, I was surprised at how early the word ZING flew across the room.

So, if y'all want to stereotype a haughty Ecuadorian habit, just say, "WHY DONTCHA BRING OUT A FORK AND KNIFE" in the middle of a heated discussion. You'll have the ACLU running all over your bigot-y ass.

On another note, Detroit. Detroit. I love this game!