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I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.

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Friday, August 5   >>

FEAST YOUR EYES ON... NO, WAIT

KCRW's newsletter highly recommended Opaque's Dinner in the Dark.

It is what it says it is. You eat dinner. In the dark.

Okay, that may not sound too amusing to you, but after the review I read I was totally inspired to go out and shell out good cash for this experience. At $99 a person (three-course meal that sounds de-lish), I wouldn't complain.

Of course, with my enthusiasm comes the jokes.

My mother said, "Fine. We'll eat at midnight. Turn off the lights. Save on gas, the trip, and the cash."

My father was in disbelief, so he just didn't even respond.

My older sister thinks I'm an idiot, so I didn't even bother telling her.

Then came (oh, you know this is coming) The Girlfriend.

We were eating at a restaurant the other night when, over some dinner, I told her about Dinner in the Dark. She thought it was just an absurd amount of money to eat a bunch of food without any light. She even mocked the event by putting her hands over my eyes while I was eating and said, "Look! It's like you're REALLY THERE!!!"

So it looks like I'll be going solo to this kind of event. That is, when I can afford it. IT'S BEEN DOG DAYS FOR HUGO'S WALLET IN THE PAST MONTH, LEMME JUST SAY THAT.

Going back to the very idea of this event, well, can ya imagine the accidents that must have already occurred? I can only think of all the hilarity that can ensue when the lights are off.

I bet that on the first time this was ever attempted, this is all that was heard.

CLING "OH MY G...EXCUSE--YEAH" SPILL KERPLUNK CLANK CLINK CLINK CLANK "OW!!!" "MARTHA, WE'RE DEPARTING" "OH MY GOD THIS TASTES LIKE SHIT" CLINK BANNNNNNNGGG BONNNNNNNNNNGG BIIIIINNNNNG [TELEPHONE RINGS, DOESN'T STOP] "THAT'S MY HAND, NOT THE COURSE, YOU IDIOT" [GLASS BREAKS] CLINK SLIPP "OOPS SORRY MY BAD" DONK

Apparently it was a huge success in New York City, so I'm assuming that this is just an overrated experience that rich hipsters in the Village blog about. Still, I want to try it.

But, if you think about it, this is a great date idea. It puts a spin to a BLIND DATE! OH, HUGO, I KILL MYSELF!

No, but seriously, it's a great blind date idea. You get to talk to your date, eat some fine cuisine, and never know what she or he looks like until you step outside. Then THERE you can make true judgment if you ever want to see the asshole again.

Also, if you think about it, this could be a great platform for a good prank. You could set a dear friend up on a blind date to Dinner in the Dark with, like, their sibling. Or boss. Or anyone you can think of with your sick imagination! Person in Religious Hierarchy tops them all, though.

I think I just might want to set someone up on this. Just maybe. Just. Maybe.

I was talking to someone recently, via e-mail, who's about to get married (her name rhymes with Bori). I should suggest to her a Dinner in the Dark spin at her wedding reception. Oh my goodness, it's ideas like this that make me thank God for video recording devices.

Dinner in the Dark
$99 / Person
Make Reservations

Have a great weekend. Honestly. No, really, I really mean that. Maybe not for all of you, but for most of you, yeah, have a kick ass weekend. Go to a rock show! Eat in the dark! Snort some coke! Share needles! LIVE IT UP, YA PUSSY.