I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.
I Approve Of These Links
- A Blog Supreme
- Piano Jazz
Wednesday, August 3
STILL WAITING FOR A GODDAMN DISCOVERY
During the Discovery Channel's Shark Week, my friend's father took out a toy shark and left it on his shoulder for the entire week. On the 2nd day of Shark Week, he had made a cape for it. He's a funny man. But I take the blame for raining on his parade. Apparently he's oblivious to the fact that a week only lasts 7 days -- and not 19.
He walked in on my friends and I eating lunch. He had the shark on his shoulder again; his son, of course, was humiliated.
I had to ask. "Isn't Shark Week, like, ...over?"
"NO WAY, MAN!? ARE YOU SERIOUS?! THAT IS SUCH A BUMMER."
He put away his shark.
Now, I just have to ask this.
What the hell makes sharks so goddamn interesting that a network needs to dedicate a week's worth of programming to a big, pissed off fish?
Why not CHEETAH WEEK or TURTLE WEEK or, for shit's sake, WORM WEEK. There are BILLIONS of species out there -- what's the deal, Discovery Channel?
Speaking of sharks, I remember going to the Aquarium of the Pacific at Long Beach. While the cleaning guy was in the shark tank Windexing the glass, I was hoping that he would be attacked.
That just seems so amusing. Especially when you're at THAT aquarium. Man, that aquarium blows. Wanna see a cool ass aquarium? Visit my uncle's house in Palm Springs. He'll show you an aquarium worth your money. He has genetically
fucked-up enhanced fish. And he has some crazy children in his pool that I would assume could constitute as weird fish.
Why not HUMAN'S WEEK where all the programming talks about how stupid humans are?
JEFF CORWIN: If you look through this window, you can see a white, middle-class suburban family congregating for an activity known as "supper." But, things can get pretty ugly as the father of this family takes too many alcoholic beverages. This one seems to fancy Bourbon -- a lot.Television. Oh, its potential.
FATHER: YOU DONTKNWNOWW NUTHIN, MARTHA!
MOTHER: Not in front of th--
[Father slaps wife]
JEFF CORWIN: Let's hope the father doesn't continue drinking after the supper. The children seem startled, but given the nature of humans, they'll file for emancipation. Beautiful, isn't it?
STEVE IRWIN: AW CRIKEY -- HAY, AVRAY ONE!
JEFF CORWIN: FUCK. DUDE. SERIOUSLY.