I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.
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Wednesday, October 26
BABY, I'M BAD NEWS!
And now for sophisticated analysis on recent events.
White House! You deserve a spanking. The word "indictment" has been afloat every imaginable wave one can think of. Lying? C'mon! Where's the honesty! Billy Joel was wrong, it isn't a lonely word! Everyone can be honest -- together!
Computer company Apple, you, too, deserve one hell of a beating. You release one hell of a fucking dope-ass iPod and... and... YOU DON'T PROVIDE FIREWIRE CAPABILITY!?!? I MEAN WE MIGHT AS WELL GO BACK TO USING SWATCHES AND WEARING JELLIES IF YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE US USE USB AGAIN.
Harriet Miers, Harriet Miers. Just answer one goddamn question. It really isn't that fucking hard. You make John Roberts' answers seem like they had depth.
2,000 American soldiers dead? That's really messed up, yo. What I'm wondering is ...where is the Iraqi death count?
Rosa Parks! Rest in peace. I trust that you will send my greetings to Abraham Lincoln over a game of Texas Hold 'Em. Rock it like Hancock!
Adam Corolla will be stepping down from Loveline! From freshman year of high school to my junior year, I listened to this show as I dozed to sleep. You have no idea how much that radio show changed my perception about sex, relationships, substance abuse, and the magnitude of a father's role in a person's life. Peace out, Ace Rockolla. I owe you many, many, many thanks for the laughs and construction tips. Dr. Drew will still be around, si?
Dakota Fanning, please, shut the fuck up.
Paris Hilton broke up with Paris Greekshippingdude. No more "OH, PARIS!!!" sex jokes.
ANOTHER HURRICANE? Mother Nature, hellloooo, take your PMS somewhere else.
...ooh, too soon?