I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.
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Friday, October 7
"I'm a big kid now!"
Hey, stupid kids, listen up. You're NOT a big kid. Hell, if you were as capable as you really think you are, then you wouldn't have to use diapers. Not to mention diapers with really, really gay patterns over the velcro strap.
You know what REAL big kids do? REAL big kids go to the bathroom in a sleepy stupor at 6AM, without crying, and piss in a toilet! Just because your diapers are meant to be pulled down doesn't make them REAL underwear. They're just underwear YOU CAN PISS IN, JUST IN CASE YOU'RE TOO AFRAID OF THE SOUND OF A ROARING, FLUSHING TOILET THAT MIGHT JUST SUCK YOU IN ALIVE, ON YOUR WAY TO YOUR PLACE OF DEATH -- THE LOS ANGELES SEWAGE SYSTEM.
You're not a big kid, kid. You're just a kid. A lousy, singy-song kid with no sense of the real world and real life situations that have to do with your bladder.
If you use Pull-Ups, YOU WILL FAIL IN LIFE.
Have a good weekend! And please, don't make any babies.