I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.
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Monday, February 26
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ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
HAPPY FEET?!?
I saw Happy Feet last week and was absolutely infuriated with it. On top of it being completely boring and finally developing a fucking story about 70% into the movie, the ending was about the biggest piece of shit ever dumped on by the colon of "tag conclusions." Don't tell me it wasn't awful! I was, like, "...DID THAT JUST HAPPEN!?"
Then, as if it couldn't get any worse, Happy Feet victors last night's ceremony over CARS, the greatest Disney movie in, like, FOR-EV-ERRRRR.
CARS : OS-CARS
I MEAN HELLO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. When they said, "And the Oscar goes to ...Happy Feet," I wanted to punch my window, get a shard of glass, and aggressively stab myself in the taint. You have no idea what armageddon ensued when those penguin-loving/shitty-music-listening cartoon bastards graced the stage. They even pissed off the Monster House kids -- AND YOU DON'T WANT TO PISS OFF THE MONSTER HOUSE KIDS.
Anyway, Tom Hanks needs to stfu and stop trying to be funny. It's getting old, Tom. You know, like you.
The Girlfriend, during our post-Oscar broadcast dialogue, argued that the biggest winner of the night was GLOBAL WARMING. She's right.
But while everyone was giving a sloppy handjob to Al Gore, I was totally wiggin' out over the shadow models (SOAP silhouette was ttly l337 -- you kids still say that, no?). Don't even get me started on the sound effects choir. I pretty much had the hugest boner I'd ever gotten in my entire life when that came on.
And what's up with all the "oh gawd it was boring....TYYYPICALLLL" post-Oscar whines? C'mon, you say that every goddamn year yet you watch it every goddamn year, too. Let's be honest: this year's was especially cool. Production = A++
I think I'm just pissed off because at my Oscar party last night, I was just ONE prediction away from getting the entire pot earnings, which was like a billion dollars. Goddamn Helen Mirren. She also needs to stfu, because every time she gives an acceptance speech, it seems so rehearsed and insincere. "...THE QUEEN!" Oh, Centrum-A-to-Z! Shower us with more of that wonderful English wit!!!
[LINKS OF THE DAY] <--- NEW
- Evidence shows that American Idol's Antonella Barba actually DOES suck!
- For the first time ever, Wikipedia doesn't do SHIT to help me on my paper.
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