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I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.

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Tuesday, April 7   >>


Hi, musician readers. Have I got a doozy for you.

Last night I was teaching this moron kid about major scales. As a last resort, I use analogies to explain music concepts, and HO-LEE SHI-EETT this kid needed more than just a brilliant analogy.

The C Major Scale
By Hugo

"Okay. Think of scales as neighborhoods. All different. Like groups of people and houses. Understand?"

"Yes. Like my neighborhood. We have a dog," The Moron said.

"Good. Okay, now let's start with the C Major Scale. It starts at C, and ends at a higher C. Got that?"


"Notes that don't fit in the neighborhood often sound wrong. Like the black ones, but only in the C Major Scale. Cool?"

"Oh, okay. Just the white ones in the C scale. From C to C."

"Right! So in this white neighborhood, black ones aren't allowed."

YAYYYY!!!!!!!!! I'M RETARDED!!!!!


If the C Major Scale were an actual neighborhood, it'd be Yorba Linda.

If the F Major Scale were an actual neighborhood, it'd be Cerritos -- all AZNs and that one black kid.

If the Eb Major Scale were an actual neighborhood, it'd be Los Feliz. So harmonious.

If the C Minor Scale were an actual neighborhood, it'd be Boyle Heights -- just as mixed, but very, very, very sad. :(

I swear to god, I can go on.