I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.
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Thursday, June 4
KEWL GUY, ON AISLE 2
Last night I was at a show whoring out the latest issue of the magazine I write at, standing before a merch table with other merch people selling merch-y stuff.
One fratty-looking guy came up to me, absolutely and embarrassingly trashed, and pulled me in, via shoulder, with his hand.
FRAT BOY: I'M FROM SEATTLE... I FUCKING HATE L.A. CROWDS. ALL YOU GUYS DO IS JUST STAND. IN SEATTLE, WHERE I'M FROM, WE DON'T JUST STAND; WE ROCK THE FUCK OUT, MAN. I HATE YOU GUYS.He autographed all over the About the Staff page:
HUGO: K. Want a magazine?
FRAT BOY: TOAST, MAN, TOAST ...*holds up drink*
HUGO: It's a free magazine!
FRAT BOY: LISTEN, K. I'M A BIG DEAL, ALRIGHT? DON'T FUCKIN' THINK I'M A LOSER OR ANYTHING... I'M A BIG DEAL. I'M ONE OF THE MAIN GUYS AT WARPED TOUR.
What the fuck is a "main guy" at Warped Tour?
HUGO: What do you do.
FRAT BOY: I ...PLAYED WITH THE USED. TWICE. ON DRUMS. TWICE. GREATEST NIGHT EVER.
FRAT BOY: LISTEN, BRAH -- HERE'S MY CARD. TAKE IT, USE IT, ABUSE IT.
HUGO: Okay. Are you in PR?
FRAT BOY: ...YEAH. PR.
HUGO: Cool. Okay, bye!
FRAT BOY: HEY WAIT WHERE ARE YOU IN THIS MAGAZINE.
HUGO: Right ...here. Page 2.
FRAT BOY: WANT ME TO [inaudible]
HUGO: Uh, er, okay!
FRAT BOY: SAVE IT, FRAME IT... GOTTA GO BACK TO MY TABLE, I CAME WITH DAVE NAVARRO AND HE'S SUCH A FUCKING PUSSY.
GOOD LUCK, BROTHA!
KEEP IN TOUCH AND
WE'LL MAKE THINGS HAPPEN
The Girlfriend later caught him giggling with barely legal buddies, the same ones I saw paying older dudes to buy them drinks.
I am seriously one step away from putting this kid's last name on the blog. That's how much he really deserves it.
Fuck it, I'm going to do it anyway. Bjorn Sorensen, you're a douchebag and I hope this entry makes it to the top of the results in a search for your name. Not even $100 bucks could make me take this entry off.
$200, maybe. WE'LL JUST. HAVE. TO. SEE.