MAD GAYS
Well, I'll be!
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Last night was round 2 in rehearsal/recording sessions for past mentioned live shows in cheesy Spanish pop/rock group. The musical director handed out some new charts.
"Check this one out... it's a cover," he said.
"River of Dreams" by Billy Joel, but in Spanish.
What.
The.
...
Don't get me wrong: I'd sacrifice my newborn child to play Billy Joel covers for good money, but it's almost sacrilege to do any cover in another language. It's such an American song despite its attempt to be worldly and Lion King-y, but, c'mon now. Billy Joel? What a strange choice in cover, especially in this group's setlist context.
And finally, I had the balls to speak up.
"Shuffle it," said the director.
"No," I said, "Play it black."
"...Paint it black?" the drummer said.
Neverfuckingmind.
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Okay, seriously, who the fuck doesn't tape their charts nor bring a pencil to any musical function? I mean, seriously, you might as well forget your guitar while you're at it. And when you're hired for a 9 p.m. call time, that means an implied 8:45 p.m. arrival. If you're on time, you're late. If you're fifteen minutes early to set up, then you're on time. FUCK, IS THERE NO ETIQUETTE?
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I suppose I'm a stickler for these things because I was in a jazz group in my first year of college whose director was a seriously in-demand session guitarist with a hard-nose in rules.
Aside from forgetting my music (wtf), I didn't bring a pencil and I showed up about 20 minutes late one time.
"Hugo," the director said, "Get out."
"NO BUT WAIT I FORGOT MY MUSIC AT THE OFFICE AND LIKE I HAD TO STOP FOR GAS AND THEN THERE WAS A BUNCH OF TRAFFIC ON THE 91/5 JUNCTION AND THEN I HA--"
"Get out."
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I came back two days later for the next class/rehearsal and I was beet-red. Everyone did their part and I committed the ultimate of all musical sins just days before: being generally unprepared.
Our director -- who is this HUGE dude who could basically rip your neck off if he wanted to -- made an example out of me in front of the class.
"Hugo got it easy. He got kicked out of class. But, let's say he did this for an Electronic Arts session. He wouldn't just get fired on the spot. He'd get blacklisted from the local music community forever, and without mercy."
And that's when I learned my lesson.
I think everyone's gotta go through that at least once in their life. I swear to god: I think that's when I became an adult.
