Tuesday, June 29   >>

LIKE A BOSS

I had to fire someone yesterday.

When I took this job some months back, I knew I'd have people working with me (not "under" me -- I'm not down with that kind of talk) who would eventually have to get cut. Being the head of a department would undoubtedly make you an unpopular character at some point or another. It's part of the job. It sucks, but it's reality.

But, to quote President George W. Bush, sometimes doing what is right isn't what's always popular.

(HOLYFUCKINGSHIT I JUST QUOTED PRESIDENT BUSH.)

Anyway, the guy had to get cut because 1. he quickly became uninspired 2. his grammar was getting lazy, jeopardizing our brand 3. quality of work was tanking and 4. I caught him sifting job listings on Craigslist.

His name is Ted.

"Ted, see me before you leave today."

*Barf*

I asked my boss for advice.

"How ...do I let someone go? I've never done this. I don't want to fuck it up."

My boss said, "Don't bullshit him. Tell him the truth without destroying his soul."



----

Ted was off.

"I'm off, Hugo."

Ted and I went to the conference room. My heart was pounding.

"Ted, I've been evaluating a lot of your work, and while it has been a relatively quick trial, past metrics have showed more positive results with much less investment and effort."

"So ...that's it."

"Yes. I'm sorry to say we're going to have to cut ties."

He just sat and stared for a couple seconds.

"I'll get my things," he said.

He didn't want to look at me in the eye in our final handshake.

I don't ever, ever want to do that again.

Ev-er.