Monday, September 20
>>GODDAMNIT I DIDN'T NOTICE I'M WEARING A GODDAMNED DIRTY SWEATER WITH A STAIN ON IT FUCK
Meanwhile, in Darfur...
No, seriously, I don't bitch about the little things in life only because, frankly, other people have it WAY worse, but, fuck, not noticing this dirty sweater (WHY WAS A DIRTY SWEATER IN MY CLOSET IN THE FIRST PLACE!?) and wearing it has totally fucked my day up. THIS IS NOT THE WAY WEEKS ARE SUPPOSED TO START.
SORRY, IT'S JUST LIKE THAT, ALRIGHT?
I think I'm on my period.
The Oven Mitt Show, with The _____, The _____, and other The _____s.
Re: earth-shattering meetings and blah blah blah
So, basically, I learned more in a couple days-worth of meetings last week than I have in my last two years of college.
These SUUUUUUUUUUPER smart bajillionaires came over to visit our company, and to meet with the few of us working on new internet business thingimajigs.
They came because they have an interest in our brand which has really resonated with a lot of people during this economic shithole we're living in. Because they can provide us traffic that is, like, mega-relevant, we partnered up. It was so fucking Gordon Gekko it would have given Gordon Gekko a boner. And then he would have written about it on his blog or something. WALL STREET 2, IN THEATERS THIS FRIDAY.
In short, it's a great marriage of minds. I didn't want those meetings to end. Everything they said was, like, gold. My hand cramped from taking so many notes. It went by too fast. Their brains were like pr0n to me. They knew it, too, but they were totally kewl about it.
When they left, co-worker The M said, "He has a jet. Did you know he has a jet? Who the fuck owns a jet? THAT guy. And he wanted to meet YOU. THAT'S SO BADASS."
THAT'S SO BADASS.
While owning a jet is impressive, it's his story that's awesome to me: He worked hard and he has tons to show for it, but would rather talk about working hard. I like this guy a lot. Not 5 million jets could come close to his philosophy about working hard.
Bragging? To you, maybe. This is my story, and I want to look back on this and see how all these stories held up. The number of you guys who bitch about my blog content kinda blows me away. If you guys don't like this shit, why do you keep reading it? The Huffington Post sucks. I know this. That's why I do not read it. It's fucking logic, man. Logic.
MY BLOG: LET'S RESTORE COMMON SENSE
Plus, if I wanted to write shit everyone wants to read, I'd go to TMZ or something. And trust me, I have, but they weren't hiring at the moment. Nice folks, though.
Speaking of TMZ, I'm going to brand myself like Harvey Levin did: with a cup.
No longer will I be The Internet Guy at the office. Well, I still might be, but I want to be The Guy Who Drinks Tea All The Time From a Green Mug.