I CAN COUNT TO POTATO
GINO: Hey can you come over? I kinda have a computer issue.
HUGO: OKAY! NO PROB!
30 minutes later
GINO: So I bought this new Final Fantasy game and I installed it but when I click on the shortcut, it wants to do this update thing before it loads and just freezes at 0.4%
HUGO: "9 hours left to complete"!?!?
HUGO: Well, is this game new?
HUGO: Have you googled the issue in case anyone else is having the same issue with it? For all we know, the servers could be crashed because everyone like you has a boner and wants to play this game at the exact same time and is too impatient to get this update off peak hours.
GINO: How do I do that.
HUGO: You google it. The words. Of the issue you're having. What's the issue?
GINO: It won't work?
HUGO: NO, YOU FUCKING DORK -- It's "FFXIV slow update Windows 7"
GINO: ...How'd you gather that?
HUGO: I want you do be dead right now so bad it's not even funny.
Seeing someone else operate a computer is like being in a car with a foreigner at the wheel. In Little Tokyo.
Sometimes I can be a dick.
At my place, there's barely any room to park my car, let alone wash it.
At the local car wash:
HUGO: Hi, I'd like my car washed.
BITCHY LOOKING LADY: What kind?
HUGO: What kind do you have?
Then she looks at me straight in the face like I'm the dumbest piece of shit she's ever met. She proceeds to roll her eyes and gestures to the door.
BLL: The levels of car wash are outside. Hurry up.
Is that... is that my blood boiling? Literally?
HUGO: Who the FUCK do you think I am? Do you REALLY think treating ANYONE like that is OKAY? I'm NOT your oppressive significant other. I'm your CUS-TOM-ER. YOUR CUSTOMER. It's NO wonder no one's at your shitty fucking establishment. I've had shitty customer service but you, lady, you're the fucking pinnacle of it. If you regret your existence just because you have to pay the bills with this job that YOU picked, don't take that shit out on me. Your problems are NOT my problems. OH AND YOUR ENGLISH SUCKS, TOO. FUCK YOU, I'M NEVER COMING BACK HERE.
And her co-workers outside applauded me! Applauded! That's very telling.
Sometimes I can be a dick.
It was only a couple years ago that I was able to control my flaming temper. It RARELY pops up in exceptionally acceptable situations (sorry, but that bitch needed a slice of the Hugo cake), but not at the frequency of my late high school/early college years. I found out that it's much easier to destroy someone's soul with a few simple truths than an opera of high-decibel hyperbole. But sometimes operas are necessary.
Hey, admin, is this password really necessary?
I mean, I know for a fact this response wasn't automated. You could have gone with "HotDog2009" or "coolguy1234." But this... this is ridiculous. It's going to take me 5, maybe 100 minutes to type that out. Dick.
The card for this new douchey show bothers the shit out of me:
That '0' is fucking horrendous. It's the visual equivalent of nails on chalkboard. THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS THIS CARD COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER ACCOMPLISHED. SIDWAYS '0'? THAT'S ALL YOU'VE GOT, CBS?
I hear that getting airplay for your music by anything in the CSI franchise is the holy grail of music licensing. Nosaj Thing has apparently rented out seven (seven!) of his songs to CSI, and, reportedly, getting one song on CSI can pay the electricity for one year straight... with the lights on.
("Hey, Soul Sister")
At first I was like ._.
Then I was like o_O
OMG THE BEST HOUSE EVER!
Back to HAWAII FIVE-SHIT: That said, I won't have to worry about being interrupted by shitty network content anymore. I bought a Roku
box the other day, making me THE MASTER OF MY OWN DIGITAL CONTENT DOMAIN. For those who aren't familiar with the Roku box, it's a box that connects to your TV so that you can wireless watch Netflix and other video content.
But once I installed it and started watching some stuff, I asked myself, "Wait...what good is this for me in the long run? What will this provide, aside from a cheap thrill?"
And when I realized it was nothing, I started feeling really guilty about getting it.
This is why I do not like shopping.
Oh, we're done?
K, see ya guys tomorrow.