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I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.

I Approve Of These Links

- A Blog Supreme
- AdamRiff
- AdFreak
- Hermitology
- Losanjealous
- Piano Jazz


Wednesday, November 17   >>

I LITERALLY JUST GOT THIS PHONE CALL LIKE 5 MINUTES AGO

Today's one of those days that Google ads are performing like a badass mothafucker, thus our phones and chat systems are blowing up, so I volunteer myself to take calls to ease the overflow.
*RING-RING*

HUGO: Thanks for calling [company name], this is Hugo speaking. How can I help you today?

GUY: Hi. I need to run my latest financial background reports with your company to evaluate how realistic getting a home is in the future. I'm old school so I don't have a credit background however I am very wealthy and would simply like to acquire a loan to begin my credit background. I have everything ready to move into a new home but, really, my documents are a mess and perhaps I don't even deserve to buy a home. Yeah, you know what? I don't deserve to buy a home. I don't have any of my stuff together right now, so I don't deserve to buy my new home. I'm not going to buy a home. That's it, I just don't deserve it. That's it. Okay?

HUGO: UHHH ERRR OKAY!!!!!
----

SUH-LOWWW RIIDDE
*BOWWW BOW D'DUN, D'DUN DUN*
TAKE
IT
E-ZAYYYY
*BOWWW BOW D'DUN, D'DUN DUN*

This is in your head right now. It is so in your head right now.

----

"oh noozzz four loko iz no mooorre"

OH NO, WHERE EVER WILL I GET A DRINK THAT IS SO SYNONYMOUS WITH BEING A COMPLETE DICKBAG!?!?!! WHERE!?? WHERE!?!?!?!!

Alt drinking is the new alt vinyl shopping.

----

HOW TO "LAY DOWN THE LAW"
VOLUME 19

CO-WORKER: Hey Hugo can you fix this computer thing I got it's like slow and stuff and like I dunno man you seem like you know what to d--

HUGO: HEY MOTHERFUCKER, DOES IT SAY "I.T. DIRECTOR" ON MY DOOR? NO, IT FUCKING DOESN'T. *SLAMS DOOR*
Just because I look like a computer nerd and am a computer nerd doesn't mean that I'm going to fix your computer.

----

HOW TO "LAY DOWN THE LAW"
VOLUME 19 -- WHAT REALLY HAPPENED
CO-WORKER: Hey Hugo can you fix this computer thing I got it's like slow and stuff and like I dunno man you seem like you know what to d--

HUGO: ...DID YOU RESTART YOUR COMPUTER.

CO-WORKER: No I hav--

HUGO: RESTART YOUR COMPUTER. IF THAT DOESN'T WORK THEN...find me.
Whatever.