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I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.

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Monday, May 23   >>

THE DEMISE OF LEVAR BURTON

There's a stark irony in Mario Andretti owning a winery.

A champion race car driver -- owning a factory that produces an alcoholic product. I mean, you might as well give Billy Joel the Coors brewery.

Anyway, Reading Rainbow is crap.

Who the HELL do those kids think they are by giving me THEIR take on literature? They're, like, what, FIVE and they're telling ME what to read? What kind of credentials do these turds have? Huh?

What? What was that? One of the best books you've ever read? OH REALLY? WHAT, IS THAT, LIKE, THE 7TH BOOK YOU'VE EVER READ?

Oh, and don't get me started on the theme song.

I can be anything! Take a look, it's in a book - Reading Rainbow.

So we as a society are okay with promoting the idea that our children have the ability to be "anything"? What if some kid hits Curiousville and decides to be a heroin user? "HEY, KID, HERE'S TRAINSPOTTING, KNOCK YOURSELF OUT."

And to think, Levar Burton has to put up with that shit all the time. I bet he's on a lifelong contract. PBS owns his Star Trek ass.

Don't pretend like you've never questioned the integrity of this program. It's a conspiracy.

I mean, do you KNOW how Motts juice commercials are shot? The snooty directors rip the books off the children's hands and give them a 6 oz. cup of grape juice. It's true.

Alright, these finals have GOT to stop. Seriously. 5 finals down, 2 to go.