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I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.

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Tuesday, May 17   >>

I AM JOHN KERRY AND I AM A FREAKING PUSSY

Someone suggested via e-mail that I collect my favorite blog entries and put them in a book -- then possibly sell them. A company on the 'net actually prints blogs in book format.

That's nice. But, to tell you the truth, I'd probably end up losing money instead of making any. Let's be honest: This blog is not funny because I'm funny, it's funny because you all laugh at how much of a dork I am to think up of all these things.

Maybe later, when I'm famous and catch a case of Janefondaitis.

I was also reminded of my lack of discussion in the world of American politic.

Why? There's an inevitable monster on the Hill and there's not a damn thing to do about it. Well, for right now, I mean. Hillary '08. [Cough]

I'm just too tired to preach about why most of our nation's leaders are complete morons. Plus, by now everyone has either picked a side -- "I like facts" versus "I choose to be completely degenerate and faithful to whatever our leaders choose to do with our country."

Sure, I'll offer my two cents. What the hell, I'll do it right now. I know I haven't spoken about the election, so here I go.

John Kerry is a freaking pussy. Whenever he spoke about why he wanted to run the country, he never got to the point. His entire campaign was WAY too fucking nice and WAY too lenient on not presenting the WHYs to his effort.

"You should choose me because blah blah blah."

No, I wanted this asshole to Perot his way through the campaign:

"YOUR PRESIDENT LIED TO YOU, AND HERE IS WHY. HEY, CARVILLE, START UP THAT POWERPOINT PRESENTATION."

BALLS, man. BALLS. Democrats lack BALLS. All they needed was some Mark McGwire juice and they would've taken the votes by a freaking landslide, man.

"Ooh, but no, we have to RESPECT the opponent."

Respect? What's respect in a campaign when the RNC runs its entire convention in New York City and tries to tie patriotism with 9/11 and a war that was, well, preempted? Fuck respect, this is the fucking PRESIDENCY we're talking about.

Respect. Yeah, like respecting a sadistic prick and his cronies is something to feel honorable about. Fuck that.

All in all, I lost faith in Kerry a week before the election. He's still lost my respect -- he didn't want it badly enough. He just didn't.

If only he did. Well, that leaves many blank pages for this non-event.

Happy now?