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I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.

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Friday, June 17   >>

I'M IN LOOOOOVVVE

I'm in love with making fun of Tom Cruise. Especially nowadays, since he and Katie Holmes seem to be doing so well -- to the point that he just proposed to her for marriage, and she said "fo' sho'."

Oh, and he did it at the Eiffel Tower.

What a turd, does he even know how bad that's going to look on other men? First it was Seal proposing on top of a freaking GLACIER in the middle of an Alaskan sea, and now Cruise takes the cake by proposing at the epicenter of romance and cheap sex. That sucks.

Anyway, there's a little perversion in me that wants Cruise and Holmes to, well, "diminish their interests for each other", ifyaknowwhatimean. Not only because the tabloids will be ridden with "anonymous source" dirt, but because it will grab the media by the balls and make gossip-loving superfans cry their hearts out.

It's sorta like the Michael Jackson case. Yes, I couldn't stand the case, but I got into a betting pool for the verdict's 10 counts. When I heard it was to be announced, I sat and -- yes, I did this -- WATCHED CABLE NEWS FOR ONE HOUR. How I got through all the garbage is all a mystery to me.

Anyway, as I was watching the plethora of fans releasing doves and parading their irrelevant signs that said "JESUS WILL SAVE YOU", in the back of my mind, I had hoped

GUILTY
GUILTY
GUILTY
GUILTY
GUILTY
GUILTY
GUILTY
GUILTY
GUILTY
GUILTY

...But NOOOOOOOOOOOO that whole "reasonable doubt" BS had to just ruin the fun.

Essentially, I just wanted to see a mass of disappointment walk away from the courthouse. Don't tell me you would have felt for them. That sort of fandom is the reason doctors suggested "some" walls to be cushion-y.

Have a great weekend -- and for fathers, hope to God that FOR ONCE you will get a present other than a tie. Or a sports DVD. Or a universal remote. HOPE.