I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.
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Tuesday, July 19
I'M A FREAKING CHICK MAGNET
One thing I do not understand: The vast majority of readers who write in to me are, 99% of the time, women. I find this hard to believe. Very hard to believe. Very hard to believe. Very hard to believe.
Perhaps I should tone down on the sexual innuendo.
Maybe men are afraid that once they contact me, they're automatically deemed a homosexual. That's probably it. Men and their insecurities -- where will it ever end? [this concludes the N.O.W. portion of this entry]
This whole changing-of-URL thing is really a hassle. It's almost like moving bedrooms (my sister and I switched years back -- what a regret that was).
Alright, now for the moment you've all been waiting for -- Barbara Walters Special.
BARB: So, Hugo, why the name change?I'm telling you, the womenZ just can't get their hands off of me.
HUGO: The "mixed tapes" didn't fit in with this blog's agenda.
BARB: That being...
HUGO: I'm still finding out.
BARB: I see. But why the name change?
HUGO: Errr, I just feel like something with my name would be more appropriate; it's only obvious the blog has nothing to do with mixed tapes. It has to do with, well, me.
BARB: Aren't you afraid of looking like a narcissist?
HUGO: Terribly. I can't sleep at night.
BARB: Do you take drugs?
BARB: Do you want to co-host The View?
HUGO: I'LL DO IT FOR FREE.
BARB: Even with Star Jones?
HUGO: No. I'd rather listen to Paul Anka for the rest of my life than sit with Star Jones for 1 second.
BARB: She really is a nice woman.
BARB: So, the name change, why Hugo Stop?
HUGO: Well, it's a play on words. It's a stop for all your Hugo needs, but at the same time, the name says, "Hugo, please, stop."
BARB: How clever.
HUGO: I try.
BARB: Wanna fuck?
With that said, I have to get ready -- I'm taking The Girlfriend out on a date. KFC and then onto the Chicken Rodeo.
KIDDING. I would never be able to afford that!
...Bye-bye, Mixed Tapes!