I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.
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Monday, August 1
I WOULD APPRECIATE THE ABSENCE OF YOUR HUMILIATING LAUGHTER, THANKS
Often times I'm always bugged about the way I talk. I've been so used to bullshitting my way through authority with words that it has seeped into my social life. By no means do I bullshit friends in anyway; I just tend to say the most simple things and stretch them out -- subconsciously, obviously.
For instance, in my sophomore year of high school, a friend of mine made fun of me because I had said, "I purchased the new Blink182 album last Saturday."
"Purchased" she said. "Why don't you just say 'buy'?"
She had a point.
The other night, I was talking to a group of pals about how un-hip we are. We don't smoke, we don't binge on casual sex, we rarely ever drink, we strongly dislike parties where 90% of the attendees are unknown to us, and we fucking hate that MyChemicalRomanceWhinyWhiteKid bitch rock music.
In reference to drinking, I had said, "Drinking in excess is dumb."
"Drinking in excess?" my friend Zaheib had said. "Why don't you just say 'getting drunk is dumb'?"
He had a point.
One of the things that has been embedded into my brain has been the pronunciation of double-t's in the English language.
It all happened when I met a British guy who worked with my uncle many years back, and if you know how Brits speak, you know that they NEVER emphasize double t's. Americans do this, too, but it's not nearly as noticeable.
For instance, Brits'll say, "I might've had a be'ah tea the other day." ("I might have had a better tea the other day.")
Or they'll say, "Can't help but think the la'ah choice is the best for right now." ("Can't help but think the latter choice is the best for right now")
So I've been used to emphasizing my t's for so long. Years, I say.
But now The Girlfriend is onto it.
Several months ago, she caught my weird habit. I had said, "I need my mom to sew my button."
"BUTT-on?" she said. "Why don't you just say 'buh-un'?"
She had a point.
She still bugs me over that. "SAY IT AGAIN, HUGO! SAY 'BUTTON' AGAIN! C'MON!!!!"
I talk funny.
This entry has officially SUCKED.
Question of the week: Let's say you're in a room with no doors. You have one gun, with one bullet. You can choose to live with Carrot Top or Fran Drescher. Who would you shoot? Or would you shoot yourself? Good times! Happy Monday!