I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.
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Friday, August 26
MIXED FRIDAY CYNOSURE
Why does SNL suck now? It seems that after Will Ferrell left, the shit hit the fan. Who knows what will happen when Darrell Hammond leaves.
Last semester, I had always hoped one parking lot would be empty with the exception of just one car. Why? So I could park right next to it.
Mediocrity should never be rewarded. I don't know when the whole give-'em-a-star-retard system started, but it's just got to stop. Society can start at the bowling alley BY REMOVING BUMPERS. CAN'T HIT THE PINS? TOO MANY GUTTER BALLS? LEARN THE GAME LIKE A MAN, PUSSY. UP YOURS, KID!
All the women in my family tonight are going to a hugely popular Latin music tour with Alejandro Fernandez, Marc Anthony, and the ever-so-homo Chayanne. I hope they do not bring me back anything.
Whoever invented the Swiffer should get a decade's worth of science prizes. It is the greatest invention since 7-up salt.
Speaking of 7-up salt, in my sophomore year I was dared to snort it like it was cocaine. It was after school, and a bunch of my moron friends and I were hanging out when the dare was given. Of course I, the bravest guy that will ever exist, did it. Had I known it would knock me to the wall in excruciating brain pain, I would not have done it. But I did. And I was knocked to the wall in excruciating brain pain. I will never do that again.
You know what college needs? More professors without political agendas.
I met a person at my school yesterday who had his truck "pimp'd" by MTV'S Pimp My Ride. He seemed upset that I wasn't amused. I also met a person whose grandfather invented DUCT TAPE. I asked for his autograph, and she said she would gladly get one. I researched the topic, and yes, it is her grandfather. That will be valuable.
Whenever the laundry dryer machine buzzes, my mother always says, "I'm coming!" as if it will understand her. She's done it for years, and I've never mentioned it to her. I believe that I will soon.
Tijuana Taxi is a great song that everyone should hear. If you do not know this song, you are nothing to me. Nothing. It is one of my all-time favorite hits ever. Ever. In fact, I have just listened to it for the 18th time today. Special thanks to my pal Mark Aparicio for reviving my absolute love for Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass about 2 or 3 years ago.
Happy weekend! Be safe, and stay clear from the 7-up salt.