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I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.

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Friday, October 28   >>

WANTED: EASY, NAKED GOLD MEN

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences should not grant any awards to anyone involved in a film that is a biopic.

I'm sick of biopics. Don't get me wrong, some have been great. But it seems that doing a biopic is pretty much a shoe-in for an Oscar. It's like playing a retard in a movie. Or someone in the Holocaust. Or a retard in the Holocaust.

For fuck's sake, LEONARDO DICAPRIO GOT NOMINATED FOR AN OSCAR. THIS IS THE BIGGEST, MOST PRESTIGIOUS AWARD FOR SILVER SCREEN THESPIANS. So he was Howard Hughes. BIG WHOOP. I STILL SEE "JACK" FROM TITANIC.

Just because one person imitates a famous icon, that shouldn't mean they deserve major props. Don't the tools in the Academy see that there are some amazing impersonators -- IN VEGAS? Holy hell, if Leo gets a nod, then the dude who plays Michael Jackson at the Stratosphere deserves at least three of them.

It's just too easy, folks. History stands as proof of this.

You've got Jamie Foxx (I AIN'T SAYING HE A GOLD DIGGA, BUT HE SHO AIN'T RESPECTIN' THE DEATH OF A DEAD NIGGA) playing Ray Charles in Ray. He won.

Then you've got Daniel Day Lewis for playing that famous cripple My Left Foot (that has been the 2nd reference to this film in this blog's entire 3+ year history). He won.

Then you've got Erin Brokovich and that new one about the sexual harassment case in a coal mine (I'LL PUT A DIAMOND IN YOUR CAVE, TOOTS -- SUE ME). The former was a previous contender, and the latter a widely acclaimed film with "Oscar 2006" written all over it.

Lets not forget Monster -- the one where Charlize Theron plays the wicked crazy lesbian killer whatever dyke. A Patty Smith biopic.

Ooh, and Amadeus! Cool flick. But it is a PERFECT example of how a biopic can be a guarantee for an Oscar: It has all the epic, expensive elements to a film -- yet it is so BLATANTLY AND ABSURDLY INACCURATE. HOW DID IT WIN!?!?

The list goes on and on. And on and on and on.

One biopic (potential) Oscar nod I will defend strongly, though, is Philip Seymour Hoffman in Capote. And I haven't even seen it yet.

Have you seen the trailer for it? They should make a "BEST PERFORMANCE IN A COMEDIC ROLE" category. That shit looks fucking HILARIOUS.

"Forgive my incredibly uncomfortable demeanor... can you help me write my creepy novel... Ith really thpecial, you know!!!"

Biopics suck, as does nostalgia for the dead or past generations. Where's the freshness? Where's the ripe imagination in Hollywood? WHERE IS THE FRESH MEAT?!?!

Mmm... fresh meat.

[OPEN ENDED BLOG ENTRY]

Have a great weekend!