Friday, February 6   >>

MY DEGRASTROLOGY: SOOO A KC

I've been watching The N ("Television ...for teens! *giggle*") a LOT lately. And I mean, like, every day. Since this past summer, really. Let me explain.

My high school years were almost completely void from television. When I discovered That '70s Show reruns on The N just some months ago, I've been hooked. It was, like, "How did I NEVER watch this show!? This shit is fucking GOLD!!!" It really is. But that's besides the point.

During commercials, The N's always pushing a Canadian high school drama I'm sure you're all familiar with -- Degrassi -- and while I haven't watched an episode, I'm loosely familiar with one of the narratives.

Sure, there are a bunch of B stories and what not, but the narrative they always seem to promote is a romance between a geeky girl, Clare, and a hot stud/cool guy, KC.

In the commercials, KC's always, like, "Baby, you're the one for me, blah blah blah, let's kiss without tongue, and this will prove that I am just a mortal at your heart's service blah blah blah."

And, then, like, apparently Clare, the geeky girl tortured by her own nerdy insecurities, gets her fucking confidence for the first time in her life. So much, in fact, that in the latest commercials she's been FIGHTING OFF guys who, for no explainable reason, suddenly want to get all up ons her.

Now, I know television, especially for teens, is supposed to be over romanticized and super idealized and shit, but if these commercials are any truth to the quality of show, I've got to say that Degrassi is the biggest load of horseshit kids have been licking up since the program started some 900 years ago.

This is Clare:

This is KC, the guy who's been trying to go steady with her:

Okay, now, in the real world, KC would only use Clare as a $50 bet with his friends to see if he could get Clare to be Prom Queen. But, no, KC is actually fucking SERIOUS. His language towards Clare rivals that of Pablo fucking Neruda. But, truly, I don't recall a high school classmate who's ever spoken in the romantic tongue and actually meant it.

Lest I mention again, this is TELEVISION.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that high school boys, especially at their jerk-off prime, aren't actually thinking, "I want to date her. I love her, because she's layered and mature. I want to blow a load on her sense of humor."

Have a good weekend,
Hugo