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I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.

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Thursday, March 19   >>

RIP YOUR SHEET MUSIC RIGHT NOW

I've got a beef with the asshole who created terms for western music notation. This is how I make $25 an hour.
HUGO: Okay. One more time. A QUARTER NOTE is how long?

STUDENT: One beat.

HUGO: Okay. Now. The EIGHTH NOTE is how long?

STUDENT: A half note.

HUGO: No, it's HALF of a BEAT.

STUDENT: No, it's an EIGHTH of a BEAT.

HUGO: No, that'd be a THIRTY-SECOND NOTE.

STUDENT: Then why's it called a half note?

HUGO: I just said it's an EIGHTH NOTE.

STUDENT: Then what's half? Beat note?

HUGO: THE EIGHTH NOTE IS HALF. A. BEAT.

STUDENT: Then it's a half note.

HUGO: NO. THE EIGHTH NOTE IS HALF A BEAT, AND A HALF NOTE IS TWO FULL BEATS.

STUDENT: But if a half note is two beats, why is it called a half note if a note that's half is actually an eighth note?

HUGO: [speechless at the profundity of such true brilliance]
She's 10-years-old.

Don't even get me started on the WHOLE NOTE, not to be confused with a DOTTED-HALF NOTE, which is a TECHNICALLY a WHOLE NOTE in relation to 3/4 meter.