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I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.

I Approve Of These Links

- A Blog Supreme
- AdamRiff
- AdFreak
- Hermitology
- Losanjealous
- Piano Jazz


Wednesday, August 12   >>

UPSTAGED BY AMY ADAMS

Is it weird to say that I think Julie & Julia is one of my favorite films of the year? I mean, I AM a dude. Secondly, it's about bitches who cook, and I can see plenty of that without the $11 theatre admission.

But it's about food. And blogging. I mean, seriously, folks, it's the holy dufecta.

The Girlfriend and I (aristocrats, really) snuck in some McDonalds food into the theatre, and the food looked so delicious on film that after I had already eaten my meal I was STILL hungry. There's a stew at the end of the film that continues to pump blood into my dong.

It's hours later and all I'm thinking of is that stew.

----

If my blog were turned into a movie, it would star Brad Pitt, because we are uncannily equal in sex appeal. It would be written by Aaron Sorkin because I talk fast, especially while I walk, and because I'm an asshole. My love interest would be Catherine Zeta Jones because I think Catherine Zeta Jones is hot.

It would be directed by Sofia Coppola, because nothing she does ever makes sense, and that would be a meta allegory to all things befitting on this blog. DID I JUST BLOW YOUR EFFING MIND RIGHT NOW?! I THINK I DID.

It would be titled The Day Hugo Stopped.

The picture would be pretty autobiographical; in fact, it'd probably be diluted since my life as it is is already so incredibly awesome that audiences wouldn't be able to relate.

In a nutshell, I (played by Pitt) meet Catherine Zeta Jones at a concert, probably some gay jazz thing or whatever, and we hit it off over our mutual love for Norah Jones. Obviously, I'd be lying to her because Norah Jones is for pole suckers, but, hey, it's Catherine Zeta Jones and my libido has a mothafuckin' AGENDA.

Enter my blog (dot blogspot dot com): Dear Blog, I met this beautiful girl today. She thinks I like Norah Jones. She is hot. What EVER should I do? I suppose I'll keep this blog around for a year in hopes that I find answers, and myself, in my past writings, hopefully giving my life some purpose. Ttyl! Lol >_< -H.
*ring-ring*

L.A. TIMES: Hi, is this Hugo?

HUGO: Duh.

L.A. TIMES: Can we do a piece on your blog? It's fascinating.

HUGO: K bai
And then a bunch of interesting stuff happens and then boom I have a book deal, I'm a millionaire and Catherine Zeta Jones is S'in my D. THE END.