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I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.

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Wednesday, September 2   >>

HERE IN MY KAR

I was playing Mario Kart on the Nintendo Wii the other night via The Gino, and I had realized that the Mario Kart brand hadn't changed a bit. Hell, I realized racing games haven't changed either.

With racing games, it pisses me off that the selection of vehicles to race always has its compromises. After I chose Yoshi as my driver, I knew I wanted one fast fucking beast. I wanted Princess Toadstool to blow me after I crossed the finish line at 750 mph.

But no. If I choose the fast car, I'd be giving up control.

Okay, fine. I'll take a car with control.

But no. If I choose the car with control, I'd be giving up speed.

JUST PROGRAM A CAR WITH BOTH SUPER FAST SPEED AND AWESOME CONTROL. I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD.
ME: So I'm looking for a car. It's gotta be fast.

CAR DEALER: Yep, we've got fast. Lots of fast cars on our lot.

ME: ...And with great control.

CAR DEALER: WHOA WHOA WHOA, SLOW DOWN THERE, MAN, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM?