MISSED THAT MEMO
If I see another fucking Facebook status update that pertains to the Dodgers, I will spray bullets all over this town. Where were you guys 5 years ago?
So my friends are so incredibly gay that we had a little fest for Jim and Pam's wedding. I baked two nom-licious cheesecakes (last minute, at that) and, needless to say, it wasn't the best time to eat cake during the cold opening when everyone in the office starting puking.
You know the writers did that on purpose.
I'm an editor at a music magazine and I got scooped by one of my own writers. Weezer are to play The Palladium in a couple weeks and said writer found an angle that works for coverage in our local section. Now I have to buy tickets. I am so infinitely bummed right now.
Argument that has far surpassed shark jumping: "What's the deal with Twitter, guythhhh? 'I am eating a sandwich right now...' I mean, theriouthly? NO ONE CARESSS!!!"
And now, a topical moment:
GodDAMN that is a MAN's song.