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I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.

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Monday, October 19   >>

AN UNSEEN EPISODE OF 'THROWDOWN WITH BOBBY FLAY'

Hugo is a 23-year-old post grad with a recent knack for baking cheesecakes. Having shared his signature dessert with over 20 people in the past month, we at Food Network paid a visit to his house in the suburbs of Los Angeles, California where he thinks we're dropping by to film a segment on his recipe.
HUGO: HI FOOD NETWORK, OMG, WHATTTTUUUPPP IRON CHEF IN DA MIX AND ALTON BROWN FTW!!! *Japanese peace sign* K, so here's the digs: I make my cheesecake with lots of cream cheese, lots of sour cream, lots of sugar and, most importantly, LOTS OF LOVE.
The musician-turned-journalist-turned-Julia Child has no idea Bobby Flay is going to pay him a visit for a cheesecake throwdown.
HUGO: ...so, after you beat the shit out of these graham crackers, you surround that shit like C4 powder on these little dishes you can get at the 99 cents store. Don't get them at Stater Bros. 'cause they're, like, 68 cents more expensive. Fuck that nois--

BOBBY FLAY: WHAT UP WHAT UP WHAT UP, DAWGSSSSSSSS!!!! HEY, HUGO, I HEAR YOU HAVE A RAD CHEESECAKE, AND I DROVE HERE ALL THE WAY FROM MY HOMETOWN OF NEW YORK CITY TO CHALLENGE YOU TO A BAKING THROWDOWN. WHATTYA SAY????????????

HUGO: Motherfu...

*RUNS UP AND KICKS THE SHIT OUT OF BOBBY FLAY*

HUGO: HOW'S THAT FOR A THROWDOWN, HUH BOBBY? WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

BOBBY: STOP IT OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP I--

*KICKS IN THE TEETH*

HUGO: WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

BOBBY: BOBBY! BOBBY!

HUGO: BOBBY WHAT?

BOBBY: BOBBY FLAY!! BOBBY FLAY!! STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF G--

HUGO: NO. BOBBY GAY. SAY YOUR NAME IS BOBBY GAY.

BOBBY: MY NAME IS BOBBY GAY I SWEAR MY NAME IS BOBBY GAY OH FOR THE LOVE OF
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