I know a gay couple by the name of Jesse and Jesse. Dead serious. Since they're pretty archetypal the name thing shouldn't surprise anybody. Anyway, they were at the movie theatre the other night and were waiting in line to buy tickets when they noticed a boy staring at a Twilight: New Moon poster across the courtyard.
The boy, who is, like, 8-years-old, tugged onto his dad's shirt and said, "Daddy, I want to see that movie. I want to see the New Moon."
The dad looked down to his son, apparently angry.
"THAT MOVIE IS FOR FAGGOTS."
These lulz brought to you by the letters "H" and "ilarious."
KOST 103.5 broke tradition and started playing holiday songs not after Thanksgiving Day, but a week before Thanksgiving Day. I know complaining about the holidays on July is about as annoying as complaining about airline food, but, seriously, doesn't it feel like the institution of Christmas is trying to dominate the year? I'm sure Jesus is, like, "Seriously, guys, it's just my birthday. My cock can only take enough sucking for a month at a time--anymore than that, and I'll nail myself up on one of those cross thingies. Shit."
Words actually spoken at the [my last name] Thanksgiving dinner:
- Sand nigger
- Tundra nigger (WTF???)
Disclosure: Spoken not out of self expression, but in context of a fellow traveler's eavesdropping on local vernacular throughout the world. People actually make these words up!
I mean, seriously!