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I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.

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Thursday, January 7   >>

THE GAWSPUL NETWOHK

Remember Sister, Sister? If you don't, it's like The Parent Trap, but with blacks. Anyway, after not having watched it in, oh, 13 years, I saw it on some gospel music station in back-to-back episodes last night. In one episode, Tia freaked out because she got an autographed picture from, get this, Kobe Bryant. This was in 1996. Tamara's all, like, "OH MY GOD I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK, Y'ALL" and when they both show up to school with the autographed headshot (why does an athlete have a headshot?) some snooty ass black-version of a valley girl guffaws at the twin bitches and is all, like, "WHAH-EVAH. MY DADDY OWNS A WAFFLE REST'RAUNT AND KOBE GONNA DO THE COMMERCIAL, shiiii..." and when Tia and Tamara feel all stupid and shit, the black valley girl goes, "COME OUT HERE, KOBE..." as if Kobe were waiting in the hallways for this bitch to call her up and, what do you know, Kobe shows up and, well, acts as well as an athlete can act (meaning every word was executed in the same pitch and timbre without ever trying to show any real emotion). So when Tia and Tamara get all butt-hurt because their autographed Kobe headshot wasn't enough to impress the student body, they kidnap Christopher "Kid" Reid (from Kid 'n' Play) but it didn't work because Kid accidentally took some medicine and passed out in front of everyone for the entire episode.

The episode was called "Kid-napped."

GET IT?

KID-napped.

And then the network censored the word "god" anytime a character said it. Remember Roger? What a character!!!

Here is Roger now:


Profeshnul.