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I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.

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Friday, June 11   >>

THIS IS WHY I CAN'T HAVE FANTASIES

Oh, hey, Christina Hendricks. Yes, of course you can buy me a drink at this wonderful hotel bar. I'm progressive like that. Why, thank you, but YOU'RE really the most attractive person in the room. A room key? Already? But we just met and--oh, fuck it. Of course I'll meet with you later.

Later.

Oh, hi again, Christina Hendricks. What a lovely robe you have on. ...It's kind of itchy, isn't it? Of course you can serve me a drink. Is that glass clean? Do you think it was put in a large soap wash, or a steamer? Hm.

Where'd you get this ice from? Oh, good. I thought you got it from those crappy ice machines down the hall. Oh you did. On second thought, I'm not all that thirsty anymore.

Either way, opening that bottle is going to cost a FORTUNE. AMC is covering it? Even better. Do you think these expenses are written off? If so, I'd love to work for AMC. I'd be a "mad man" with that company card! Oh, Christina Hendricks, I'm glad you think I am hilarious. I think so, too.

I think so, too.

Christina Hendricks! How your rush things! You can't just take me into your arms, start making out with me anda0f03af0f982h3fh0z8hglmmmk. Mmk. Bffut...nafowwait.WAIT.WAAIIIIT.

...IS THE DOOR LOCKED?

Sorry. Is the door locked? I don't want anyone to walk in or anything.

It'd be horrible if it were the same bellhop who saw me check in with my wife.

Do you think he'd say anything?

Oh no, I parked my car at the meter on the next block. Oh, but it's nighttime so I'm not going to get a ticket. I am glad it is nighttime, because if this fantasy were to take place in the daytime, I would definitely have had to run out and put some more coins in the meter. If not, I'd probably get a ticket. And, in this town, tickets are NOT cheap.

And this is why I can't have fantasies.