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I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.

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Monday, August 16   >>


A sizable chunk of my Netflix queue is made up of contemporary German films. What I'm noticing, though, is that all the remotely political-themed ones always put history's antagonists in context. This is a great motif in modern storytelling, but, frankly, it's getting old. I want to see a story about crayon factory workers. Schtuzenshieffeldieffendorzen.

I am obsessed with the endless possibilities that could come from a crayon factory narrative in any medium. COME ON, CAA, I'M WIDE FUCKING OPEN.


I'm really surprised Scott Pilgrim vs. The World bombed at the box office. For being a pretty original story (I DON'T GIVE TWO FLAMING FUCKS IF YOU READ THE COMIC SO SPARE ME THE "ACTUALLY, IT'S NOT ORIGINAL, IT'S ADAPTED" TROLL BULLSHIT) and being loaded with enough nerdery to satisfy anyone ages 8-to-38, it should have had a decent opening weekend.

Talk about fan service: Smashing Pumpkins, Television, triforces, and INFOGRAPHICS!? That was almost a little too much for this once-super-nerd-now-just-more-a-music-nerd.

The Bert: "That's it: Any movie that has levels is automatically awesome."

Internet Circle Jerk says The Expendables was more entertaining. We'll see if The Expendables has a more brilliant moment than Pilgrim's Seinfeld bumper (the most hilarious thing I've seen in recent memory.)


If you have a girlfriend who has had a crush on Harry Connick Jr. since she was 5-years-old and has never seen him live, do not take her to see Harry Connick Jr. live. You will be nothing but third-rate man after the show. I swear, I could smell the vagina on the ride home.