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I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.

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Thursday, December 30   >>

I'VE NEVER LIKED THE SONG 'THRILLER' BY MICHAEL JACKSON

It's a stupid fucking song. Seriously. Everything about it pains me. That dopey fucking bouncing bass line, the sound effects of creaking doors and howling wolves, the retarded spoken-word interlude, those retarded and arrogant horn lines, and the overall ambition of it is just a holocaust of noise.

I'm probably the biggest defender of pop music you'll ever meet (I still think Katy Perry's "California Gurls" is the best song of 2010) however Thriller is one of those songs that leaves me wondering what the fuck everyone is tossing their shit over whenever it gets played. I swear, the Pavlovian reaction to "Thriller" is the same: "OH. MY. GOD." Jello shots. And there's never any reason.

Is it the dancing? The fact that there was a shitty short film associated to it? The irony? Oh god it's the irony, huh? I hate my peers so much right now for the fact that I can't decode this.

Unlike every song on MJ's preceding Off The Wall LP, "Thriller" is a song that challenges nothing and successfully appeals to everyone's supposed sensibilities of funk and pop melodic rock. Off The Wall, however, is more of a tribute to all the landscapes of American pop music that somehow, by some form of genius, gel together funk, disco, jazz, rock, and everything in between so fucking flawlessly that it hurts. Few pop albums have come close to such elegant writing and luscious production. The only ones that immediately come to mind are Robin Thicke's Evolution of and Justin Timberlake's FutureSex/LoveSounds. Concept is always a winner.

Off The Wall gets almost no love and Jackson's legacy is arguably almost always reduced to "Thriller." That's a fucking crime.

Just had to throw that out there. I woke up with "Thriller" in my head this morning and I had to drive a sword through it today to put it to rest. Fuck this song. Seriously.