Re: Trio --

Soloing in F#m is hard. Not a big fan of that key. But I have to do it from a goal-oriented standpoint: "If I can't accomplish playing this key at a capacity to perform it, I am a shit musician."

The guys were better than I anticipated. We were all apologizing to each other for not being up to par with each other at different points of the session. It was kind of silly how apologetic we were to each other. Nice, talented dudes.

I love having a vision and seeing/hearing it come to life. It's happening more and more in recent months. I'd like to think I'm getting better at this music thing, but I don't know.

----

I'm getting better at leading groups/musicians. I am a control freak, which is why I don't like hopping on to projects very much. I figured that if I'm going to devote my time to art, it's got to be for art that I can completely believe in, and I can only completely believe in art that I am somehow principal in creating. I learned this from reading David Foster's memoir. Sure, I've done the occasional paid gig and recording, but I stopped doing that aggressively last year.

I used to be such a major fucking pussy in meeting new musicians. Lots of umms, and errs, and humhawing, and other sorts of poor social behavior. Now I'm just a minor fucking pussy. I can turn the charm on in most instances, but with musicians it's always a different sort of beast.

What you're telling musicians you've never met who are showing up because of you/your music is: "Welcome. What we're about to play are my feelings. I hope you can relate to my feelings. If you don't relate to my feelings, there is a good chance we won't meet again. That is okay. And, yes, the first hour is going to be awkward, like a musical first date. This is the social contract we have agreed upon."

It's fucking bizarre! Here I am, virtually giving away an extremely high level of intimacy to complete strangers, all the while having a complete (even unhealthy) way of shutting it out from the people closest to me.

----

I'm meeting a singer tomorrow. She is very good. Don't know how we'll gel. To be honest, I don't even know why I'm meeting her. I have no intentions of working on a pop/R&B/soul project anytime soon. I guess I just want to network and trade numbers. Actually, I just want to play. Whatever the outcome, I always make sure that I leave on good terms with most musicians. Believe it or not, most musicians would rather hang/play with a nice guy more than a douche with chops. And, boy, there are a LOT of douches with chops. They are called session musicians. I have said too much.