I am a Los Angeles-based twentysomething. I have a profession, and I have a secret life in music, and this blog isn't about any of that. I like Blogger because I can't read what you're thinking.
2,591 entries since July 2002. From my very first post (post-LiveJournal):
okay.
well, it looks like another year of chem for me.
at least im gonna see ben kweller next...next friday. heck yea.
aww crikey, i wanna see 'croc. huntah!'s movie. looks mighty SCHMIDT, whattya think?
god, i hate, yes, HATE, mrs. strong.
g'nite.
-jooce.
I was never a good student in high school, so repeating classes wasn't a foreign concept to me. The only reason I graduated was from extra credits in marching band. Not proud of that, but, hey, I learned a lot from it. At least I can say that music had saved me to some degree.
That Ben Kweller set was at The Roxy. I remember going there with The Tam, The Tran, and The Talip. My Morning Jacket were opening, and that was an insane set. Insane. I had no idea who these bearded smelly guys were, but I vividly remember looking at singer Jim James' forearms. They were drenching with sweat. They had ripped out their hearts and slammed them on stage hard enough for everyone to get splatted with a bit of their blood. All I thought was: "How could they be so fucking on-FIRE in front of a crowd that doesn't even know them?" Then it clicked: They play what they want to play. It left a very big impression on me. Kweller followed, and I also remember that it had upset me when he changed keys to "In Other Words."
It was a great night, like that movie Detroit Rock City. That's a film that resonates with me since I had many, many, many Detroit Rock City nights. SO many. In fact, a lot of them are stuck in this blog. I am literally laughing my face off right now thinking of all the stupid shit my friends and I did just to get into shows. So stupid. So awesome. Good times.
I went to a quincenera the next day and all I could think about was how awesome it was that I found new musical heroes. I probably drew another fat =W= on my sneakers.
I think the The Crocodile Hunter comment was some kind of inside joke since only my friends had read my blog.
Mrs. Strong really was a bitch, but in hindsight, it was clear that she was just unsatisfied with the outcome of her life, and, unfortunately, she had exuded it on her chemistry students. I don't hate her (nor did I ever hate her, or hate anyone for that matter), even though she sent me to the principal's office on 9/11 for wearing a douchey t-shirt with a bad joke on/allusion to threesomes. Now I just empathize for her. She is probably doing the exact same thing, and making someone else's 3rd period a miserable 50 minutes.
Jooce was once my nickname and an internet handle of mine, and a terrible one at that. But I had a history of terrible things: Terrible grades, terrible piano lesson discipline, terrible hair, terrible love life (or depressing lack thereof), terrible insecurities, terrible teasing, terrible levels of uncertainty, terrible clothes, terrible communication skills, terrible social skills. Some of these terrible things turned into terrible traumas that I've accepted as being impossible to shake off forever. That's okay, though. I've accepted it.
Will I regret ending this blog just months before its 10-year anniversary? Maybe. But no one knows what they'll think at any point in the future, so it's really not worth worrying about. If there's anything I learned from this blog, it's that I can only reflect on what's happened and hope for the best in all our futures. The hope is what keeps me going. I don't see how there could be purpose if you can't hope for the best for tomorrow.
This blog taught me that I loved to write. It was a playground for me to practice jokes and opinion writing and some journalism. It was crucial to my academic and career choices. If it weren't for this blog, I absolutely do not know what would have become of myself. I really do mean that. This blog also taught me to love language, and it taught me that language is a very, very powerful device. When someone would come up to me at school and say, "Oh my god that made me laugh so fucking hard" I knew that I could, with just some words, make someone's day that much better. That was a big deal to me.
So, yeah, this blog is a big deal to me. A very big deal. While I won't stop writing, I know that not writing here will be weird. But I've gotten used to life changing in the blink of an eye, so it's okay. I've done all I can with this place. So that's it! I hope you and I meet some day and have a beer or something. I hope you guys get to listen to the music I've talked about so honestly someday. I hope that this blog was a positive part of your life. Thank you for reading. Because you read, I wrote. And because I wrote, I reaped all the benefits! MUAHAHAHAHAH!!! I kid because I love. You rock. Thank you. -Hugo