DMX IS ONE DUMB MOTHERFUCKER

- Ctrl-F "Barack"

- Stephen Colbert is on Twitter. *rolling of the eyes*

- Last night, The Girlfriend and I hit the Hotel Cafe to catch one of our faves, David Ryan Harris, play a set. While in line outside, a woman rushed out of a neighboring parking structure yelling, "WHO HAS A BLUE BMW?" and, assuming she's asking because some dumbass left their lights on, she adds, "...BECAUSE THERE'S A FUCKING PUPPY INSIDE -- A PUPPY!!! IT'S GOING TO DIE IN THIS HEAT. I'M GOING TO CALL THE FUCKING COPS RIGHT NOW."

Then a girl came out and admitted to having left a puppy in her blue BMW. She got the biggest and most public bitchslap in the history of bitchslaps.

An hour later, David Ryan Harris invited a friend onstage to sing a song with him. Likely not knowing what his friend had just gone through an hour ago, he said, "...also, she'd love your help in helping name the puppy she just got."

lolz@scarlet-letter-esque-moment

- I stand by earlier declaration that this really is the greatest internet video of all time. I have it bookmarked any time I need to laugh. It's like the midas touch of emotions.

- If you thought his wearing sunglasses on an interview were asshole-ish enough...

- So, wait, McSweeney's "Jokes" section is supposed to make me laugh, right? Right!? I'm serious. I often visit this page in hopes of having that moment, that A-HA! moment tied to the emotion of feeling, iono, smart.

- My favorite new videobloggers: The Vlog Brothers

- Hey, Diddy, you got a bunch of feces all over your lips.

- Wait, O'Reilly's "WE'LL DO IT LIVE!!!" could be a contender. Liquids literally exited my nose when I saw that.